I know it has been a while since my last post. I have been trying to figure out what to do with this blog. Do I just wrap it up? Keep it going? Change the subject? I really don’t know. I do know that I am glad I decided to start a blog when I did. When I first had my accident I tried very hard to find situations similar to mine from others across the internet. I was not very successful. One of my main goals for this blog was to provide helpful information to others who may be going through common unfortunate circumstances. I don’t feel like I have particularly met that goal. I do know that it was very therapeutic to me, and it gave me something to do when I had very little to do other than to heal.
I know it has been a really long time since I’ve updated my blog. I’ve been having trouble coming up with content that doesn’t seem incredibly mundane. However, I’m due for an update, so be prepared to be bored to sleep.
I had my last follow up appointment with my neurosurgeon on Monday. I am currently brace free! I was cleared to start physical therapy! He even gave me the OK to drive… I think I will wait on that one at least until after my first PT appointment considering my range of motion is not quite at the “I feel safe to drive” level. I have gone back to work. I pretty much just jumped right back in. It is painful. It is tiring. It is also wonderfully time consuming and challenging. I have been able to do pretty much everything, and help is always readily available if I need it. I am walking on the treadmill without my brace. Showering is pure bliss. I actually even shed a few tears the first time I stood under the running water.
Today. January 10th. It has been exactly four months since my accident.
This is the happiest I have ever been to say goodbye to a single year. 2014 can kiss my a$$. I hope some day to look back on all of this and be able to count all of the blessings, lessons learned, and strength gained. Maybe I’m getting there…slowly… But I am really impatient for this all to be over. I want to feel like I’m not on hold anymore. I haven’t blogged in a while, and honestly it’s because I haven’t really felt like it. Writing has been therapeutic and I am glad I decided to do it, but it has become a little more difficult. Maybe it’s because I have grown so impatient for the end. I have a hard time picturing exactly what and when the end is. Is there even an end to this? I am often comforted with the idea that this is just a season and it will pass. A long, cold, crappy season. I really do believe that most of this crap will pass, but what is the end? Or actually, will there be a “back to normal”?
It’s December. Mid-December. I think this qualifies as Christmastime. At my last appointment with neurosurgery, Dr. Ramsey said I could start transitioning into my Miami J around Christmastime. The amount of time I can spend in the cervical collar vs my CTO would be up to me and my level of fatigue. I am thinking that Wednesday will be a good day for me to give it a try. My neck for the most part feels pretty good, but my back still does hurt quite a bit. I am anxious to see how I will feel in just a neck brace. At this point the brace is more for fatigue, and being in a smaller one I suppose will help with the transition to no brace at all.
My previous post was on what I’m thankful for. Today I want to talk about things I miss. As each day passes, I am closer and closer to being able to do some of these things on this list. In a few weeks I will be able to take my brace off for small amounts of time and that is beyond exciting. However, since Thanksgiving weekend the days have been moving at a snail’s pace. I am still knitting, and reading, and exercising, but my cabin fever is getting pretty intense. I have made some plans over the next few days, and despite this absolutely crappy weather we are having I am going to try to stay occupied as much as I can.