There are so many applications for the word comfort. Physical comfort is something that I continue to struggle with on a daily basis. Since the day of the accident until a few days after, my discomfort was mostly defined as pain. I can easily say that it was the worst pain I have ever experienced. The slightest movements and adjustments multiplied my pain ten fold or more. Even laying still at times was more than I thought I could bear. There was little to no respite in the first few days.
Around day 3 there were moments of comfort. Certain positions, remaining still, and pain medication provided periods of little pain and hints of relief. Going home was a bit of a challenge, and I had to figure out how to adapt to different furniture, walking around, stairs, etc. We borrowed a chair, ordered a new bed, bought a grabber, moved furniture, modified showering, perfectly timed medications, adjusted pillows, and more. Day by day, and bit by bit, discomfort replaced pain. The pain medication was slowly tapered to zero by day 10 of the accident. I can happily say that my pain today, day 36, is almost non existent. I am very happy with that. Finding physical comfort is still challenging, however. I long to just curl up under a blanket on the couch and watch a movie. Or to be able to stand up when I wake up and stretch my arms up, and bend over and touch my toes. I feel like great modifications have been made to make the house as comfortable as possible, but my injuries and definitely my CTO brace make complete comfort very challenging. I feel guilty complaining about it because I know that things could have very easily gone another way, and instead of a brace for 3-4 months I could be in a more difficult, and permanent position. At times it is hard to always remember the positive. I would not describe the CTO as comfortable. It definitely provides support, but there are times I want to rip the thing off as it jams into my jaw at times, or digs into the back of my head when I knit, or restricts my ribs and stomach after a meal when I sit down. I am thrilled that I am over a month into my recovery, but thinking about another 2-3 months in this brace is quite overwhelming at times.
Emotional comfort on the other had is something that I have been lucky to receive on a daily basis. Kind words, cards, flowers, food, helping hands, and visits from friends has definitely helped in my recovery. Yesterday was a good day of emotional comfort, from the beautiful flowers blooming in my living room, to relaxed time spent with friends. Regan picked me up and brought me to the Matherly’s so Kristy could teach her how to make homemade chicken and dumplings (which might just be the ultimate comfort food!) I sat and chatted, listened, helped a little, ate a lot, and smiled and laughed even more. As warming and wonderful as the meal was, the visit with dear friends was the most comforting…and somehow the emotional comfort covers up the physical discomfort.