It’s pretty cold and rainy today. I had planned on taking a walk with a friend at the park, and because of the rain in the morning we thought we would try in the afternoon. I had some visitors come by with loads of baked goods from Sunrise. Have I mentioned how much I love visitors?
After breakfast my sweet friend washed my hair. Washing my hair is a task I cannot do by myself, so I am very appreciative that she comes a few times a week. After lunch my friend came over and we drove to Veteran’s Park. I didn’t even think about the fact that we were at the same park of my accident. I had a fleeting feeling of “maybe I don’t want to be here”. However, it was nice to actually see the spots where the paramedics came in to get to the trail and to get me out. We stuck to the path and walked around one full loop plus a little more. It felt really good to get out. It was my first trip outside of going to my follow up appointment at the hospital on Monday. Being at the park made me start thinking about being on a bike again. Would I even get on a bike again? Road? Mountain? Is it worth it? Even when my back is healed what would happen if I fell again? Maybe I just become a knitter who takes walks. I try not to think about it too much because I can’t figure it out, and really I have at least 3 more months to think about it. I’m sure I will be writing about this topic quite a bit in this blog. It’s just hard when the thing you love to do the most is the thing that renders you unable. My thoughts seem to be all over the place lately. When I get too anxious about it I try to stop myself. I will continue to try to be grateful daily for the small things and not worry about the more distant future. I will try to focus on small accomplishments and good distractions, of which I have many!